Conceptual Poem: LOL

In class last week, we learned about conceptual poetry. I’m probably not going to do a great job at explaining but basically it is about taking text out of its context and creating something new out of it. It about using what is already written and out in the world, taking it and using it. I’m not too sold on it, and I must admit, I felt a bit like I was taken when it wasn’t mine to take, but it was a fun process. I scoured the internet for an interesting article, found one, went right towards the comments and then picked and choose which I thought would be interesting as a poem. Here’s what came from the exercise:

LOL

If laughter be thy exercise and thy exercise be thy laughter.
Then, let laughter be thy medicine and medicine be thy laughter.

Clowns raise pregnancy rates after in vitro fertilization.

Back when my husband had asthma he would routinely pass out when he laughed really hard.

If you’ve had laughter that’s lasted more than four hours see your doctor or go to the emergency room.

Corporations are notorious for thinking they can get away with low wages by substituting “get happy” seminars for a living wage. Obviously, they’ve taken instruction from North Korea’s “dear leader”.

Bunch of party poopers…

My father would often say to my mother, “Don’t make me laugh!” Maybe he really meant it.

As a middle-aged female, I avoid excessive laughter due to the stomach pain and the other unfortunate side effect: you know how the pipes corrode after a few decades.

I can make my wife pee on herself by making her laugh. It’s my revenge.

When my grandmother was a child, she’d seen her favorite aunt choke to death while laughing at the dinner table.

I once read of a cult that executed erring members by tying them up and tickling the bottoms of their feet with a feather until they died. The victims literally died laughing.

I don’t give a monkey’s about the putative benefits to me when I laugh. What matters are the effects of our laughter on others.

If someone gives me the choice to die of laughter or to die of sorrow, I’d rather die of laughter.

Spiced Chocolate Protein Spread

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It’s the first day of the year and what better way to start it then finding delicious ways to incorporate chocolate into your day? Oh, wait… you have New Year’s Resolutions to eat healthier, exercise more and lose weight, right? Those are the BIG goals of lots of folks and it’s no surprise, considering the state of health in America. While it’s admirable to make healthy choices, if we’re too restrictive with ourselves and eat bland foods, we are only setting ourselves up for failure. What we should try to do is make healthy stuff taste good, which is exactly what this recipe is about.

There’s a little secret ingredient in this spread: chickpeas! I know! I know! Crazy, right? But trust me on this one. Make it, take a whiff and taste it and you’ll find chocolaty goodness that is just as good as any commercially made chocolate spread. And bonus: it’s guilt-free, protein-packed and can find it’s way into any New Year’s Resolution diets.

You won’t regret it!

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Ingredients:

1 15 ounce can chickpeas

1 tablespoon peanut butter

2 tablespoons oil

1/2 cup Dutch-processed cocoa powder

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon instant coffee powder

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

4-6 tablespoons water

Directions:

Put all the ingredients in a blender or food processer, starting with only 4 tablespoons of water and adding more as necessary, scraping the sides of the blender/ processor. Blend until well incorporated and the desired consistency has been reached.

Easy-peasy. Now you can spread this on apple slices, rice cakes, multigrain toasts… the sky is the limit!